We are a divided family

Tigs is with Himselfs parents.

Pup is in hospital.

I am at home, and Himself is staying with Pup for the day. This evening we swap over and I stay with Pup tonight and tomorrow.

  It feels very very strange. I am scared that Tigs will feel abandoned. That Pup will get totally spoilt. He is already starting to behave like a little King. We are already getting "Pick that up for me Mummy" when he drops a toy off his bed. Er no, Pup, there's nothing wrong with your legs! Obviously a little bit of spoiling goes with being in hospital. The new toys and comics to keep him busy, the waiting on him with drinks, loads of TV time, DS time, 1 to 1 attention from Mum or Dad etc. The nurses are lovely, as are the doctors, play therapists, teachers, physio, dietitican.... he is lapping up all the positive attention. He is also hating some of the less positive side of the experience.

Like last night. He needs a long line in his arm to give his antibiotics. On Monday they failed to get one in, becasue he was wriggling too much, so had to settle for a cannula (short line) That is a disaster for a fiddly wriggly boy like Pup, he'll pull  /  knock or wriggle it out in no time; so he had to have a proper line in. SO yesterday evening he was sedated again, and they tried. Yes they got the line in. But otherwise it was a disaster. The sedation made him restless uninhibited and drunk. Unable to listen to reassurances and comfort, and unable to control himself and lie still. Able to scream at the top of his voice. 

"Don't do it to me, don't hold me down, don't touch me, I don't want it!" 

Continuously for the 20 minutes they were putting the line in. And himself and I had to hold him. I would rather it was us holding him  than anyone else..... but I can still hear that scream. Now the sedative had an amnesiac effect - i.e. he probably won't consciously remember most of that. I hope. But I will, and Himself will, and all the other Mums and kids on the ward will. The doctor and nurses kept their cool, thankfully, and just got on with it as quickly as possible.

Child abuse.

I hate it.

But child abuse would be not giving him his antibiotics, letting his health deteriorate irreparably. Could he have had a general anaesthetic? Yes, but that is especially risky for him. Could we just replace short cannulas as they got bent / damaged / blocked? yes but to him that is just as traumatic.

And they had to put the line into his right wrist, and as he is right handed that is one of the worst possible places for him.

PS Tigs seems quite settled at Grandmas, and is eating for England (lots and lots of cake!) So I think he's well on the mend.