Monday, 28 January 2013

So quiet

  Boys at school, velcro cat and I are in the kitchen. I rarely remember to switch the radio on during the day, and daytime TV is for sick days. I like this silence. In spring the windows are opened and the birds interrupt - but I don't mind them. We have a major road running about 3/4 of a mile from us, but it is in a cutting and even when the wind is in that direction it's just a low hum. On the other side of town the noise is intrusive. A few years ago when we were planning to  move we looked at (and loved) a house on the East of town - but it ran a hundred years from the Big Road, which is on an embankment at that point. Er... no thanks!

  When I'm home alone I always have an ear open for the phone - in case of issues with Mum, or the boys at school. In Pup's first year of school I lost count of the number of times I was phoned to say he had fallen and hit his head, and could I please come into school and take him up to A&E. The first time or two I did, but then I got fed up with hours of both of us sitting and waiting only to be told that he was fine (which I could see very well for myself as he cantered around the waiting room giggling.) So I decided that I'd use my own nursing skills to decide if he needed to see a Doctor. So I used to bring him straight home, sit him on the sofa and let him wallow until he got to the cantering around stage. Tigs is made of tougher stuff. He bangs his head almost as often, but he bounces. Actually what I am worrying most about as I sit and wait for that phone call is not if they are hurt but whether they are behaving themselves. Neither has been excluded - yet - but both sometime flirt with trouble. It is not unusual for me to be taken aside by both teachers on the same day to report a misdemeanour or something sad. There is  a real sinking of heart, a dreadful feeling of failure. I've let down these boys if I haven't brought them up to be decent kids. No I don't want perfect Peters (as I keep telling them!) but two Horrid Henrys.....  Noooooo! Please!

  I owe it to their birth mum who trusts us with them; and to them; to give them the best I can. Sometimes I run out of best. This morning I walked out on them in the kitchen because of the dreadful arguments (over who has which mug, who gets the choco crisps first....) It was walk out or yell. Thankfully Pup is growing up - I heard him telling Tigs that Mummy had had enough; and that they'd better get on. When I got back after a short breather in the lounge they were eating together amicably. I have noticed a big improvement in ther negotiating skills lately. I'm also learning not to jump in with both feet straightway when the arguments start - often they will blow over quickly; if not both boys are learning to reach their own compromises. They are both strong characters, so it can take a while.

Pup, shouting furiously and grabbing  " I want the blue cup"
"No it's my turn!" Tigs turns on a good whine - has great acting skills.
"No it was your turn yesterday"
"But I wanted it today. it's not fair! You always get it"

This part goes on for a while very loudly and gets a little repetitious and very angry. I try to sit it out with gritted teeth, unless it's loud enough to disturb next door, or unless someone gets thumped.

"Ok Tigs, you have it today and I'll have it the next two days.  And I get the green bowl. Deal?"
"Deal!" Happy grins and giggling. They've gone from sworn enemies to best mates again in about two microseconds. And I am reassured that not interefering was the right thing to do.

Maybe this is why I love the quiet so much when they are not here.  :)

No comments:

Post a Comment