(Warning: not a cheerful post)
Fighting depression at the moment. I never get very down these days, but I am a little low. SAD season starts with the shorter days. So I need to think of the good stuff. The trouble is in this state of mind I twist all the good into problems and worries.
Lovely big garden = lots of work
Lively cat = he's going to get run over.
Elderly cat = will she get ill?
Mum is fit and well = when is she going to get ill? I saw her yesterday and I'm going down with a cold today, have I given it to her?
House decorating to plan = decisions I cannot face.
Worrying about the boys futures? I can't even go there at the moment. Tigs has a slight tic = has he got Tourettes? Himself is tired all the time - has he got some dreadful undiagnosed condition? He has just found out that he didn't get the promotion he was trying for, and is very fed up about it.
And I have lots of jobs to do, feeling overwhelmed by them so I'm not doing any of them. Shopping was delivered about half an hour ago and most of it is sitting on the table presumably waiting for the fairies to put it away. Washing machine is waiting to be unloaded. When I get depressed; I go all passive. Drink tea. Snack. Stop praying. I've got big decisions about my future to make. .... sometime.
And for goodness sake I've got nothing to moan about. The news headlines are all about people made homeless by floods. Syrian children being tortured. We live in a great town, in a free country, have a lovely home (if in serious need of redecoration). We are not bankrupt or persecuted. We have two gorgeous boys, lots of great family, the best cats in the universe. Pull yourself together girl.
Enough. I'm going shopping.