We've always resisted trying to get Pup's behaviour issues diagnosed; partly because we feel that he has enough 'labels' hanging around his neck already. Premature, adopted, cystic fibrosis. It's a lot for a boy to handle. But I've given in. I took him to the Quack this week and asked her to refer him for an assessment. School is getting increasingly concerned about him, he is disrupting at Cubs, at Sunday school, and almost everywhere we take him out. He is getting more and more out of step with other kids his age. We are worrying more and more about how he will cope at senior school. At the very least he could get badly bullied.
So we've taken that big step. I think it may be a long road. I thought I would feel guilty, but I don't, I feel like a big weight has dropped off me. Yes, we want him to be 'normal' (if there is such a thing). But we want him to get all the help he needs as well. And another label just might make people more tolerant of his idiosyncracies.... we hope.
I don't really know how he feels about it. He knows his behaviour causes problems. (how could he not know?) I was as direct as I could be with him, and tried to explain to him that we are not saying he is naughty - in fact he is a child that loves to be helpful and to please people. He isn't talking about it. But he doesn't like to talk about negative things, he never has. I just hope we are doing the right thing for him. I've had too many years of people saying to me "It's just attatchment disorder", "He'll catch up", "He'll do it in his own time", "Don't worry, he's a lovely boy." Sorry, but being lovely isn't enough. Sadly he has to conform at least to some extent to societies expectations, even if those expectations can be unreasonable sometimes. I don't want him to stop being 'Pup'. He has a strong personality that will always shine through. AND he is an optimist! I think, I hope that he will cope.