A letter to my GP

Dear Doctor. 

We have run out of Pup's Movicol medication, please can we have some more? Yes I know that we only put in a prescription request two weeks ago, but I'm afraid someone set fire to the box. Here is the evidence.

No, fortunately that 'someone' panicked and shouted for help at that stage, and no other serious damage was done, although the house stinks of smoke. Daddy can move fast, and a couple of jugfuls of water put the fire out. Yes, 'someone' was playing with the ignition on the gas hob.

Yes, I know someone else tried to cut his thumb off the other day, and you may be becoming somewhat concerned about our parenting skills. SO I am going to revert to plan A: Keep and raise my kids in boxes until they reach at least 18, and feed them through a straw. The only change to the plan is that the boxes must now be made of non flammable materials. And they won't be allowed penknives until they are 32. And whatever Tigs says he won't be allowed a motorbike until he is at least 89.