I am sure that the world feels that one of me is enough, but right now I could really do with being in two, or even three places at once.
- At home with family.
- With my mother at my parents house
- With my father in hospital
I have spent the last three wekends at my parent house, which is 45 miles away from our home. It is difficult for himself to have the boys to himself all weekend, painful for me to be away from them all. Amazingly they are managing without me - mum's not indispensible after all! But some plans are on hold while my Dad is out of action. The one that hurts most is our plan to get a new kitten - I was really looking forward to that!
Dad is not well, and may never be the man he used to be. Both my parents are finding it hard to accept that they will need to 'move on', and are doing little about it. So my sister Jay and I are having to gently push them - hoping desparately that we are doing the right thing, and that we are pushing in the right direction. And trying NOT to take over their lives.
Life seemed so complicated three weeks ago before Dad took sick. But looking back it seems it was so simple and unproblematic then!
The main problem at the moment is that it seems to be all about waiting - waiting for doctors to make decisions, waiting for Dad to get stronger, waiting for the hospital to decide what sort of package of care he will need on discharge. Talking to social workers (my sister has a big meeting with mum's social worker this afternoon, to decide if respite care would work for her) It would take the pressure off J and me - we need time with our kids. Just because her kids are older - 15 and 12 - it doesn't mean they don't need their mum!