This morning Tiggs started crying in the cloakroom at school. He didn't tell me why, and I assumed it was because he'd fallen on the way to school, then to top that when he got there I was
nagging him gently reminding him that he must sort his coats, lunchbags, bookbags etc before he started on his social life. The teaching assistant saw him crying and came up to ask what was wrong, and he immediately told her that he was upset because another boy had moved his lunch bag. He hadn't told me that - I hadn't asked, I'd assumed I knew what was wrong. Teaching assistant escorted him off to the classroom still sniffing, and I walked home alone making mental note to self to listen to my kids more.....
Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be time to listen to them in all the jobs that need to be done. And often I am not patient enough to listen through all the garbage that small boys talk - the role play games, the silly word play games they both love.
Asking them how their day was doesn't work:
Pup "Ok, mummy"
Tiggs "I forget"
I've got a book called 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'. It's a book I've got a lot of time for, but putting the advice into action with two hyper boys is not easy.
Must try harder.
Please God grant me the ablilty to listen to my kids, and make me into the sort of Mum that they want to talk to.
They DO deserve to be heard.