Grief

   On  6th May  the Consultant told my dad that there was no chance that he would ever be fit enough for a heart bypass operation, His heart was functioning at about 20%, so he was weak. A number of additional health problems had left him very frail, with little energy to do more than just 'get by'.

  I rang him last monday (the 9th), and we talked for a while. He spoke about what the Doctor had said, and I think he had peace about it. He said that now he could "Make the best of however long I have left".

I fill up every time I think of that. On Thursday morning Tigs and I were out for Tigs regular music session, and shopping, and we came home to a message on the answerphone - ring my parents home urgently. I have to admit I still think of Dad as the 'well' one. I thought something had happened to mum.

So I rang and mum answered  "Are you all right mum?" it came out in a scramble of words. Her answer was deliberate - I 'M alright - but Dad's dead."  She found him in his bed that morning, peacefully asleep. For ever.

I wish I'd known on Monday that he only had two days left.