2 boys for sale

Yes it  was one of those 'I've had enough of this, they're going back' weekends.

No this blog is not going to be a list of the boys crimes. Or mine - I mean the times when I lost my cool. I mean really lost it. No I wasn't the one in a tantrum on the floor, or kicking screaming and thumping. But it was close. No-one got seriously injured; even by Tigs when he went OTT with Pup's light sabre. The cats got a little nervous as noise levels were higher even than usual. Homework did NOT get done. We did no gardening, and minimal housework.

So take deep breath. Take cup of tea. Start again. 

Time for a quick sentence on how I am an imperfect sinner but God has forgiven me? I don't think so. No I'm not taking that for granted but that's between him and me. Maybe more crucial, have the kids forgiven me? And have I forgiven them?  

Hmm hmmm.

My too high expectations of how the weekend would go probably did not help. It was my birthday weekend and I wanted it to be good. It was indeed excellent in parts. 

SO, some of the good bits:

Pup did really well in his riding lesson and he got to try trotting. The helpers seem genuinely impressed with his progress. It is the perfect therapy for him on so many levels - excellent for his  muscle strengthening, balance, co-ordination, concentration, attention span; and for motivating him to keep calm and learn to control his over excitement. I still do not really 'get' the whole horsey thing, or why I must not call a pony white if it actually IS that colour, but I am trying to learn.

Tigs embarrassed me totally in church on Sunday morning. Yes this actually was a good bit. In our church any child who has a birthday the following week is given a card and his the birthday song sung to them.So the leader announced in his introduction that he didn't know of any birthdays this week. Like lightning Tigs shouts at the top of his VERY loud voice. "It's my Mummy's birthday today!" Cue for church to collapse in laughter. Yes the boys are a little infamous at church.

I had breakfast in bed on my birthday provided by all my boys. Pup's cup of tea was not up to its usual standard, it was cold and he'd forgotten to take the teabag out. No I didn't tell him this. Yes I drank it with appreciative noises.

Some bad bits?

It is always sunny on my birthday and it wasn't. It was wet and windy. So windy the night before that a lot of the young leaves have been stripped off our local trees, and many small branches have fallen. I was disproportionately disappointed. We have had a lot of wet recently (much needed), and had very little sun for weeks. Usually I love this time of year.

The car leaked somewhere, we can't find out where, and the carpets are soaked.

My mum was upset because the birthday card she sent me has gone astray. This is a bigger deal than you might think, because I usually help organise all the letters / cards etc that she sends, and she did this independently, and it got lost.

I think the moral of this post is that I must lower my expectations sometimes. Not hope for too much, then I won't get disappointed. Will try!

From the Scrap Bag.

This post isn't about anything particular, it's just about catching up, about bits and pieces that have happened to us recently.

   Tigs announced this morning that he was going to cycle to the Tower of London. He was leaving immediately, and would be wearing his Union Jack socks. I am not asking him what else he planned to wear - if anything?? Fortunately I was successful in persuading him to wait until after school. On the way to school he decided that he would  climb Everest after his London trip.  He is obsessed with visiting the Tower, and also with all things Star Wars at the moment. He has also taught himself to play the first few lines of the carol 'Once In Royal David's City' on the keyboard. He cannot read music so we know he wasn't cheating. That was one proud mummy moment! Himself persuaded him to do it again and caught it on video, so we can embarrass him with it when he's a famous musician.

  Pup saw the physiotherapist last week, and she is really pleased with him. He is getting a lot stronger. In particular she noticed that his hands are much less flexible; until recently you could bend his fingers backwards about 60 degrees (without hurting him I hasten to add!) Now they are a lot better. I really hope his fine manipulation skills will improve accordingly. I am not sure what Pup is 'into' at the moment, he usually just plays with whatever is available. He is getting a bit keener on reading, to my great relief - he confessed to me this morning that he forgot to put his bedroom light out until 9 o'clock because he was reading. I did not have the heart to tell him off, especially as I was a veteran 'under the blankets' reader as a kid.

  Tigs told us at teatime the other day "Pup needs more ketchup because he has cystic fibrosis." He said it without any apparent resentment. I am so glad he is learning this now, and does not seem to mind - at the moment, anyway. He told his teacher last term about how Pup needed more food than everyone else. We have tried to avoid making a big issue of this with Tigs, and I am surprised that he has noticed. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised; he can be a very observant boy. He did comment amazedly  at Grandma house the other day "I didn't know grown ups needed to take meds, I thought it was only children!" (After seeing grandads stockpile of pills.) That is what living with a CF brother does to you. :-(

   It is wet wet wet here. Water butts are all filled up andthe garden looking very damp. Our tadpolarium is overflowing. Ironically we are in the middle of a drought; there is a local hosepipe ban. The soil has been so dry and our local stream has only run intermittently for months - until 2 days ago.

    I met with Pup's teacher on Monday. He kept reassuring me that Pup is very intelligent. He just needs to get down to doing some actual work in class. And to learn to write. And to improve his maths a bit, and to learn to shut up and sit down and NOT to take over the class. (He just has to be in control in all situations and cannot remember that he is not the teacher.)  However his verbal skill are well above average, he is excellent at expressing himself and putting 'spin' on things. And he always uses ten words when one would do.  I just wish he could get on better with his classmates.

  Himself has had a bug, but is thoroughly 'aunty-botted' and now on the mend. The four-footed members of the household have been so frustrated by the rain and not being able to go out that we've had more than the usual number of scraps and some very bad language between them. And I just seem to run at a low level of tiredness all the time at the moment. And I've only got 2 kids.

Hols

It's the holidays. We've been bowling, we've tried kite flying, but it started to sleet, and Tigs and I were getting very c-c-cold, so we came home. We've festered at home, played on the Wii, watched TV, done some gardening, played with the neighbours grandsons, done some homework - oh sorry, not got round to that one yet. We are visiting Grandma and Grandad soon.
But today was nearly a disaster. The boys and I had a big plan to visit the leisure pool ten miles away. Much more fun than our local pool, it's got a wave machine and a slide. I hadn't driven there before and got slightly Ok totally lost. Then when we finally found the place and got to the pay desk I suddenly realised I hadn't brought my wallet.  I had NO money on me at all, but I did have two totally overexcited small boys. What could I do? We took the 20 mile round trip home to pick up the wallet  (fortunately it was at home not dropped somewhere en route). The boys did get their swim in the end, and had a wild time in the water. Both can just about swim - underwater; but are not reliable if they get out of their depth. I had a stressful time trying to watch both of them. Being short sighted does not help, as I can't see a thing without my specs, and when they are off playing all over the pool I keep losing sight of them. Next time we go I am going to insist they wear red vests or something.

Sleeping partner

She doesn't get many mentions on this blog. She is ten years old, a bit of a matron; and her favourite hobby is sleeping. Her second favourite is keeping all other cats in their place. including The Ginge.

She has her wild moments of frantic rushing around the garden, but not if The Ginge is in sight - mustn't compromise her dignity! He is already longer than her and taller, but she is still heavier, and she can still cow him with a look.

Megan. Monocat, 'Her Majesty' (Her Maj for short) thinks she rules the house. She does have a point. Right now I am perching on the very edge of the computer chair so as not to disturb the royal presence, she has chosen it as her throne for the evening. Her other favourite places to sleep are laps, Himselfs pillow at night, the sofa, under the table on a dining room chair. She is a bit of a Daddy's girl and will usually choose Himself to sit on if she has a choice. She also loves to sit on his shoulders; he usually has breakfast with a fur collar around his neck. Can get painful if he makes any sudden moves.

She will NOT tolerate any other cats on her territory, except The Ginge and he is barely tolerated. Until 18 months ago she lived with her brother. 

http://bearsbabiesandbananas.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/for-mungo.html

with Mungo at 10 weeks

  After we lost Mungo we thought she was grieving, and partly for her sake we got The Ginge to replace him about 6 months later. We thought it would take her mind off Mungo. Er ... you could say that. She devoted all her energies to hating our new addition and she was wildly jealous.Things have improved slightly; these days she seems to accept The Ginge, but barely. But this morning Tigs shut them into our bedroom together. I didnt notice until lunchtime that they hadn't been in evidence all morning, when I got suspicious I went upstairs and found the bedroom door shut. On opening the door two furiously indignant cats emerged, Mono was swearing and hissing at The Ginge as if it was his fault.

  She is a gorgeous girl, not a hunter, although she went through a phase of catching frogs last year. She had a really hard patch after Mungo dies, when she lost a lot of weight and got very hyper and anxious. We took her to the vet as she was starting to look like a skeleton covered with fur.  They diagnosed an overactive thyroid; which was treated with tablets at first, but forcing her to take those twice a day became too stressful for her and us. Catching her and getting them down het throat was a nightmare. We would often find discarded tablets on the floor. She was starting to distrust us, and run away whenever we entered a room, thinking we were going to 'pill' her. So we agreed to let her have a thyroidectomy. She looked tragic afterwards with a great scar in her shaven throat - but it has done her so much good! She is such an affectionate cat these days, and a real ' stay at home' girl. We'd be lost without her.

Lolling about on the sofa.....

....in his Star Wars jim jams, with his fleecy tiger rug over him. Dosed up on Calpol, asking me for apple juice and bowls of Curiously Cinnamon, watching Cbeebies, guitar across his lap.

Yes Tigs is off sick. He had a high temp last night, and didn't want to get out of bed this morning (unheard of for him), so here he is. Here is our whole day upset. Himself had to go into work late to get Pup to school, My lunchdate cancelled, Tigs playdate cancelled.

It's never a good idea to make too many plans or depend too much on the plans you have made. They do 'gang oft agley' in this house, that's probably true in most houses with small children in. At least Tigs is great company when he's sick. Not if he's really unwell, but if he's a touch of colour his energy levels drop to those of a normal 5 year old, and he becomes very cuddly. I like it!

  At least the cats are ok. Our neighbour came round to us in a state yesterday afternoon. He'd left some out of date pate outside his back door to put in the bin, and it had gone missing. He was really worried that one of our cats may have eaten it and got sick. Nice of him, as they are not cat lovers and chase our two out of their garden if they spot them. (Both our cats have been guilty of decimating the frog population of their garden pond) Anyway I was able to reassure him that both cats were fine. They don't seem to be suffering any loss of appetite today, thankfully, so if one of them did eat the pate it hasn't done them any harm.

  And some other good news for today. Pup put on clean school trousers this morning but they were too tight for him. This is something that gets me disproportionately excited. He hasn't put on any significant weight for months! Maybe that hospital stay did do him some good! I resist the urge to weigh him at home - he gets weighed every 2 months at clinic anyway.

  Anyway, better go put the kettle on, then cuddle up with Tigs and watch Cbeebies for a while.  I may get round to some washing or a little light housework later. Maybe.

Contrast

My boys are extremes.

Pup. Unco-ordinated, gross and fine motor skill delays, hypermobile joints so he is knock kneed with unstable hips and inturned feet, always banging into things, falling over his own feet. Struggles to put on muscle mass, tiny hands and feet. Struggles to do things with his hands both because of their size and the 'floppiness' of his fine muscles, so his writing is very delayed. Everything is such an effort for him, it's not surprising he is 'slapdash' sometimes, and rushes through tasks; it's easier for him just to 'get things over with'.

He still has the edge over Tigs for speed - the 3 year gap holds. But it won't be long. Already Tigs can do things he can't. Life isn't easy for him. His concentration span is short, so it's hard for him to learn new things. But he does try. And I cheer for him (silently in my heart) when I see him achieve things his brother can't yet do.

On Saturday he started his Riding lessons - we've signed him up with Riding for the Disabled, to help his muscle tone and balance skills. He did great. He was the ablest child in the group - that was good to see. He had to have the reins taken away from him, because he was fiddling with them. But he sat well and confidently (when I wasn't even sure he'd even be brave enough to get on the horse) he behaved well,  he didn't shout or scream. Well done Pup.

Tigs. Poetry in motion, graceful, always active. Could ride a 2 wheel bike before he was 3 years old. Taught himself to do somersaults on the trampoline. He's a joy to watch. his energy levels exhaust me. He was running in circles round the garden this afternoon just for the joy of it. Its not just we that think he is extreme in his physical abilities, other mums have commented on it. Life can be very easy for Tigs. He isn't a 'tryer' because he's never had to be. If he can't do something he doesn't bother. Stuff that we've had to teach Pup slowly and painfully. Tigs just absorbs. Like doing up buttons, tying his school tie, climbing.

He is always trying to compete with big bro, but he gets furious when he can't keep up (he will stop running and shout in frustration if Pup gets too far ahead.) he is jealous of the activities that Pup does, especially this new one of  horse riding.

One day he'll understand (I hope) why we get Pup to do so many activities. One day he'll outrun him. I hope it's not too soon.

He's free!

Pup  got out of hospital last week.    Despite his protests. 

Pup is The One and Only*, sometimes he doesn't do things the way anyone else does them. He did NOT want to come home.

And why should he? Spoiled by the nurses, the play therapists, the physiotherapists. One to ones with the hospital teacher. Trips to the hospital gym; the use of the playroom (which had a Wii). A parent with him at almost all times, a parent who was not weighed down by housework and dividing their attention between him, his brother and other parent.

Having said that he immediately relaxed in the car on the way home, crashed out,  (an hours rush-hour journey) and slept until his Dad carried him into the house

Our meds cupboard.

We did home IV's for 3 days, until the line blocked on me. That was scarier than I thought. I've been cheerfully doing IV's at work for years, but my hands were still shaking the first time I drew up his antibiotics and gave them to him. It felt like we were living in a hospital. But now it's over, we're creeping back to normal. Whether he's better for his antibots I don't know for certain. I haven't heard much coughing recently. We have to wait for his next brething tests at his outpatient appointment to be sure they've helped. But I think he is better, it's not just the coughing. he's still pale but maybe a tad less tired. Not at first, the few days after he got out he was shattered.

The next thing in store for him is riding lessons! He has been recommended to try riding to build up his muscles and help his balance skills. First lesson on saturday. My theory is that he will freak out when he sees an actual horse up close and personal.

Oh yes, I do have another son don't I? Tigs is as gorgeous as ever, as hyper as ever and has more scars on his face than ever - three knocks in one day yesterday; he went nose over toes over the front of his scooter on the way to school, he cut his wrist at school (rather vague about how this happened) and he and best friend both bumped their heads in the playground after school. Tigs face is now a disater area - if you count the eczema and the cut on his eyebrow from school last week. Oh and he's lost his new glasses at school. And Pup being in hospital threw his behaviour back a peg or two; he has invented a few new ways to be naughty - and wear us out. His naughty is usually very deliberate, I do wonder whether there is some 'testing out' behaviour sometimes. I asked him why he did something a couple of weeks ago and he said it was "to make you cross mummy". it is hard with adopted kids. I just don't know ho much of their behaviour is them and how much is their history. Confused. I am confused, and sometimes they must be. It stands to reason, thye've both been through more sets of parents than any child should.

I had the routine term 4 meeting with Tigs teacher on Tuesday, and she feels he is doing well, but he needs to do what he's told more often! His latest trick: when teacher asks kids to do something he will stop what he is doing ok, but then he will start telling the other kids what to do.

I have a pair of right little bossyboots.

*This is what I think of as Pups theme song: Chesney Hawkes 'The one and only'

I'm working on one for Tigs. 'Wild Boys' doesn't quite fit. After all there's only one of him (I think?)