They deserve to be heard.

  This morning Tiggs started crying in the cloakroom at school. He didn't tell me why, and I assumed it was because he'd fallen on the way to school, then to top that when he got there I was nagging him gently reminding him that he must sort his coats, lunchbags, bookbags etc before he started on his social life. The teaching assistant saw him crying and came up to ask what was wrong, and he immediately told her that he was upset because another boy had moved his lunch bag. He hadn't told me that - I hadn't asked, I'd assumed I knew what was wrong. Teaching assistant escorted him off to the classroom still sniffing, and I walked home alone making mental note to self to listen to my kids more..... 

Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be time to listen to them in all the jobs that need to be done. And often I am not patient enough to listen through all the garbage that small boys talk - the role play games, the silly word play games they both love. 

Asking them how their day was doesn't work:

Pup "Ok, mummy"

Tiggs "I forget"

I've got a book called 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'. It's a book I've got a lot of time for, but putting the advice into action with two hyper boys is not easy.

Must try harder.

Please God grant me the ablilty to listen to my kids, and make me into the sort of Mum that they want to talk to.

They DO deserve to be heard.

What's new?

The new stuff around here is

• A lot of new toys, some already broken (naturally) 

• Tigs new glasses; titanium, supposedly as small boyproof as you can get. We picked them up the Wednesday before Christmas, and they were broken on the 6th January. He had a temper tantrum on the way home from school, threw them on the pavement and a woman on a bike ran over them. You could ask (and I did) why she was riding on the pavement, but it was not her fault that they were there.

• I've been a bit low and am not doing as well as I should in sorting out Mum's affairs. Trying not to kick myself all the time because I just don't feel up to it sometimes. The garden is full of rubble because of one of our latest projects. It looks a mess, but we just do not get enough time to get it done quickly. Yes I could be doing it right now instead of blogging. Doh.

• Pup 'swims up' from Beavers to Cubs tonight. I am somewhat concerned how he will get on in Cubs as he is not good at late nights (late= after 8pm!) and it runs until 8.30. Also he is quite immature in some ways and may not cope too well with the new regime. He does like older boys though, so it may do him good. 

•  The Ginge is nearly one, and he he thinks he's a grown up cat. Except when he behaves like a dog. His favourite game is retrieve the mouse. This is best played when your people are in bed. 6am is a good time. (so he thinks) He brings a toy mouse onto the bed and drops it. Then he waits for one of us to throw it across the room. He'll find and retreive it unerringly within seconds even when it is completely dark (quite an achievement considering the piled up state of our bedroom floor). The worst time was when he chose to bring a live mouse instead. We refused to throw that one (spoilsports!) He is developing attitude, and starting to challenge the Monochrome cats dominance. She still cannot stand him. All the cat books say that it should take about six months for a resident cat to accept a new cat. Well they have not met Monocat. Stubborn is not her middle name. It is her identity, her defining feature.

 

The Feast of the Unconquered Son

I realise this is a dreadful play on the Latin words.

Sol Invictus. The undefeated sun, from the Sol cult. A late Roman festival, held on 25th December to celebrate this deity  may or may not be responsible for the date we celebrate Christmas.

Saturnalia an earlier festival that started in the third century BC held from 17th December onwards is more often linked to Christmas in modern tradition; but there is no real connection.

But on 25th December I was very happy to celebrate the feast of Gods unconquered Son; even if we don't really have a clue what time of day, what time of of year he was born - or even what year for that matter. 

I would love to know the details, when / where / how.....  Why did Mary go with Joseph? We guess that only males were required to travel to their home towns because of the census. Did Joseph take her away with him because she was an outcast in her own home and town because of her unexpected pregnancy?  Did Mary travel on a donkey? No idea. Did they travel alone or with friends / relatives?

There is a subtle hint that maybe he was not born straight away after they arrived in Bethlehem: "While they were there" the time came for the baby to be born. It was probably not a romantic little stable in a Bethlehem inn (there was after all NO room at the inn). Maybe in a field, or a borrowed house. Some tradition has it that he was born in a cave. Possibly a barn. Barn / stable - what difference. Somewhere poor anyway. He had to be put in a manger to sleep. Sounds awfully scratchy for soft newborn skin.

Shepherds visited him the night after he was born. Shepherds, the lowest of the low - why did God choose them in particular? We hear no more about them - what happened to them after this/ Did any of the shepherds survive to become disciples? Did they bring him a lamb? Not very likely if he was born in mid winter, but there are no clues about this in the Bible. What did the locals think when the shepherds were racketing around Bethlehem celebrating the birth? Did anyone else see the angels?

What did the locals think of the whole thing? How bitter were they about the escape of one child when all the other young boys in their town were massacred? That takes us to the Wise men. Where did they come from? (the 'East' - very informative!) How many were they, did they fully understand the significance of their gifts? Did they follow a star, or simply see a star as the were skywatching at home, then see it again when they finally found their way to Bethlehem? Were they really so naive as to believe Herod? And how old was Jesus when they reached the village? He is called a 'young child' not a baby in that part of the story. And Herod told his soldiers to kill all boys under two, so Jesus was probably at least a toddler.

How did Mary and Joseph feel about it all? I think what would have impressed me most was Jesus' welcome in the Temple, when his parents took him there. Anna and Simeon - wow! What prophecies!

I would love to know about the family's stay in Egypt. How long? What happened? 

The rest of Jesus childhood is almost a closed book. He had siblings; I would guess all younger than him unless they were half siblings as some traditions have it; four brothers and some unnamed sisters.  He lived in Nazareth for some of the time. His father was a carpenter / builder. Was he working on some of Herods great building projects? It would be so good to learn more.

Pup is crazy about the carol 'Once in Royal Davids City' at the moment after learning it in school choir. It has a few lines that had himself and me in hysterics recently:

'Christian children all must be

Mild obedient, good as he'

Our boys mild, obedient?? If this was the young Jesus, then it's a role model they just could not live up to. So maybe it's a good thing that we just don't know what sort of child he was. If he was 'Our childhoods pattern', he would give every child a complex, mine not the least. So I think I'd rather not know some of the details. But the story fascinates me, and I would really love to know more about the incredible story of how Gods unconquered son was made a child, and came to live on Earth.

'Our God contracted to a span,

Incomprehensibly made man'

(from Charles Wesleys hymn  'Let earth and heaven combine')

I want, I want, I want.....

No it's not the kids with their christmas lists, it's me.

The kids don't know what they want. Pup says he 'likes surprises'. When I suggested that nothing was a good surprise he got quite indignant, so I think he does want a christmas present. But I'm the one with the three page wish list on Amazon. Himself struggled very hard to produce a decent wish list for his family, who probably very sensibly don't do surprises (at least then you get something you actually DO want). All he wanted was a Kindle.

And I have been trying so hard to fight my materialist streak this year. Looks like it really is NOT working. of course what I really want is peace on earth, and peace with God for all men. But I don't have that sort of faith.

Ho Hum. Or should I say Ho Ho Ho?

I was wrong

(And mummies aren't wrong very often!)

Pup doesn't need glasses, at least not yet.

Tigs does. 

His teacher says she was not surprised because he was always wanting to be at the front in class and to peer closely at things. So why didn't she tell us? Doh!

Picking his specs up next week. I'm  a bit sad because it will be harder to see his gorgeous long dark eyelashes. I'm a bit worried because he is an anarchist and the wildest of the wild things, and I'm pretty sure that broken glasses will become a normal part of our future. But I hope it will help him concentrate, especially in school.

As for Pup, he is spitting bricks - he was desperate for specs of his own, and his little bro has got there first!

Pup update

Things seem to be piling up for Pup at the moment.

The Docs are not happy with him, as his gastric reflux seems to be getting worse.

He was recently referred to the physiotherapist to try and improve his mobility problems. She says that he has hypermobile joints. This explains in part some of his clumsiness and difficulty with gross and fine motor control, and why he tires so easily.

And we strongly suspect that he needs glasses - he keeps complaining that things look 'fuzzy' and he is reluctant to read at present, especially on the computer. I am surprised as I'm not aware of sight problems in his birth family, that's one family issue we thought he'd escape - both Himself and I come from short sighted families. So it's off to the optician for us this afternoon. I could cry for Pup - he's got so many issues, it's just one more thing he doesn't need to deal with.

He went through a down patch last year, which he seems to be out of. But he still says things that worry me sometimes - like saying he'd like to be dead. Not in a depressed way, but because he wants to go to heaven.

But please don't think he's unhappy.

Life may be harder for him than for most kids, and often he doesn't seem to know which way up he is. But mostly he is laughing.

Dad's birthday

I

It's exactly six months since he died.

I still can't believe it.

One of my favourite pictures of us all together (pretending to be lions!)